I Think You’re Bonkers

Dino will be doing an abseil towards the end of April, I know I’ve mentioned it on here before but he really wants to hit the £200 mark if he can.

The Justgiving link is on the right if you want to chip in.

Thanks.

We went to see City of Ember this morning and on the whole we enjoyed it - the kids more than me. It’s a good story of a pocket of humanity hidden deep underground to survive some major catastrophe, with a kind of alarm clock set to let them out after 200 years. The thing is lost and they stay there beyond the 200 years, forgetting all about life above ground, until their generator, which they rely on for power, heat and light, starts to fail.

Then it’s down to two teenagers, Doon and Lena, to find a way out and save the day. 

The only thing that let it down for me was the scale of bugs and things below ground that didn’t seem to match once they got above ground. Other than that it was fun - Mimi (and other more sensitive children) was a bit un-nerved at the unexpected (for her, I saw it coming) death of a granny and the star nosed mole towards the end.

I wonder if the book is worth a read…. 

Carve one online….

Have fun…

  Costumes for Samhain on Friday, but being tested out at every opportunity.

More time wasting on the internet…..

Now, where did she find a chicken…. 

Haynes car workshop manual translations

Haynes: Rotate anticlockwise.
Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer anticlockwise.

Haynes: This is a snug fit.
Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: This is a tight fit.
Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with a hammer.

Haynes: As described in Chapter 7…
Translation: That’ll teach you not to read through before you start. Now you are looking at scary photos of the inside of a gearbox.

Haynes: Pry…
Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into…

Haynes: Undo…
Translation: Go buy a tin of WD40 (giant economy size).

Haynes: Retain tiny spring…
Translation: PINGGGG - "Jesus, where the hell did that go?"

Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb…
Translation: OK - that’s the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers dig out the bayonet part (and maybe a plaster or two).

Haynes: Lightly…
Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your
forehead are throbbing then clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: Weekly checks…
Translation: If it isn’t broken don’t fix it.

Haynes: Routine maintenance…
Translation: If it isn’t broken, it’s about to be. We warned.

Haynes: One spanner rating.
Translation: An infant could do this… so how did you manage to **** it up?

Haynes: Two spanner rating.
Translation: Now you may think that you can do this because two is a low, teensy weensy number… but you also thought the wiring diagram was a map of the Tokyo underground (in fact that would have been more use to you).

Haynes: Three spanner rating.
Translation: Make sure you won’t need your motorbike/car for a couple of days.

Haynes: Four spanner rating.
Translation: You’re not seriously considering this are you?

Haynes: Five spanner rating.
Translation: OK - but don’t ever carry your loved ones in/on it again.

Haynes: If not, you can fabricate your own special tool like this…
Translation: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Haynes: Compress…
Translation: Squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on it, throw it at the garage wall, then find some molegrips and a hammer…

Haynes: Inspect…
Translation: Squint at it really hard and pretend you know what you are looking at, then declare in a loud knowing voice to your
wife/husband/partner "Yep, as I thought, it’s going to need a new one"

Haynes: Carefully…
Translation: You are about to suffer deep abrasions.

Haynes: Retaining nut…
Translation: Yes, that’s it, that big spherical blob of rust.

Haynes: Get an assistant…
Translation: Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone you know.

Haynes: Turning the engine will be easier with the spark plugs removed.
Translation: However, starting the engine afterwards will be much
harder. Once that sinking pit of your stomach feeling has subsided, you can start to feel deeply ashamed as you gingerly refit the spark plugs.

Haynes: Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal.
Translation: Yeah, right. But you swear in different places.

Haynes: Prise away plastic locating pegs…
Translation: Snap off…

Haynes: Using a suitable drift…
Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: Everyday toolkit
Translation: RAC Card & Mobile Phone

Haynes: Apply moderate heat…
Translation: Unless you have a blast furnace, don’t bother.
Alternatively, clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Proof that the moon landings were faked….

more lolcats

Pay it forward - want something in the post? Give me a shout, first three and all that…. 

Originally written and produced by Freddie Perren and Dino Fekaris
Originally performed by Gloria Gaynor
Mercilessly altered with apologies by Natalie Criss

First I was afraid
I was petrified.
Kept thinking I could never teach
´Cause I´m not certified.
But we spent so many nights
Reteaching homework that was wrong.
I grew strong,
so now I teach my kids at home!
We study math
and outer space.
I just kept on despite the fear
with a big smile across my face.
I bought a set of Base Ten blocks.
I bought books with answer keys.
My parents think we´re nuts,
but they don´t even bother me

Come on, let´s go walk out the door.
We´re on the road now,
‘cause we´re not home much anymore
My friends would laugh and say we´d be unsocialized.
I heard one mumble
that I´d give up by July.
Oh no, not I!
I will survive!
As long as I know how to read
I know we´ll be alright.
I’ve got all my life to learn.
I’ve got energy to burn.
and I’ll survive.
I will survive.

It took all the strength I had
not to fall apart.
Decided to attend
a play date at the local park,
and I met oh so many moms
who offered eagerly t o help.
They used to cry.
Now they hold their heads up high,
and so do we!
My kids are cool!
They´re not those chained up little people
stuck inside at school.
So if you feel like dropping by
and just expect us to be free
you´d better call ahead first
´cause we´re probably busy!